Monday, November 26, 2012

Monty Python - Bomb on a plane

First Pilot          This is Captain MacPherson welcoming you aboard East Scottish Airways. You'll
                          have had your tea. Our destination is Glasgow. There is no need to panic.
Badger             There's a bomb on board this plane, and I'll tell you where it is for a thousand  
Second Pilot    I don't believe you.
Badger             If you don't tell me where the bomb is... if I don't give you the money... Unless you 
                          give me the bomb...
Stewardess     The money.
Badger             The money, thank you, pretty lady... the bomb will explode killing everybody.
Second Pilot    Including you.
Badger             I'll tell you where it is for a pound.
Second Pilot    Here's a pound.
Badger             I don't want Scottish money. They've got the numbers. It can be traced.
Second Pilot    One English pound. Now where's the bomb?
Badger             I can't remember.
Second Pilot    You've forgotten.
Badger             Aye, you'd better have your pound back. Oh... fingerprints.
First Pilot         Now where's the bomb?
Badger            Ah, wait a tic, wait a tic. Er, my first is in Glasgow but    
                         not in Spain, my second is in steamer but not in train, my whole is in the luggage 
                         compartment on the plane...  I'll tell you where the bomb is for a pound.
Second Pilot   It's in the luggage compartment.
Badger Right. Here's your pound..
Headphones   Is this character giving you any trouble?
First Pilot         He's just ruined this sketch.
Second Pilot   Yes, absolutely.
Headphones   Let's go on to the next one.
Badger            Wait a tic, wait a tic. No. I won't ruin your sketch for a pound.
Second Pilot   No, no.
Badger            75p.

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