First Pilot This is Captain MacPherson welcoming you aboard East Scottish Airways. You'll
have had your tea. Our destination is Glasgow. There is no need to panic.
Badger There's a bomb on board this plane, and I'll tell you where it is for a thousand
pounds.
Second Pilot I don't believe you.
Badger If you don't tell me where the bomb is... if I don't give you the money... Unless you
give me the bomb...
Stewardess The money.
Badger The money, thank you, pretty lady... the bomb will explode killing everybody.
Second Pilot Including you.
Badger I'll tell you where it is for a pound.
Second Pilot Here's a pound.
Badger I don't want Scottish money. They've got the numbers. It can be traced.
Second Pilot One English pound. Now where's the bomb?
Badger I can't remember.
Second Pilot You've forgotten.
Badger Aye, you'd better have your pound back. Oh... fingerprints.
First Pilot Now where's the bomb?
Badger Ah, wait a tic, wait a tic. Er, my first is in Glasgow but
not in Spain, my second is in steamer but not in train, my whole is in the luggage
compartment on the plane... I'll tell you where the bomb is for a pound.
Second Pilot It's in the luggage compartment.
Badger Right. Here's your pound..
Headphones Is this character giving you any trouble?
First Pilot He's just ruined this sketch.
Second Pilot Yes, absolutely.
Headphones Let's go on to the next one.
Badger Wait a tic, wait a tic. No. I won't ruin your sketch for a pound.
Second Pilot No, no.
Badger 75p.
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