Monday, November 26, 2012

Monty Python - Bomb on a plane

First Pilot          This is Captain MacPherson welcoming you aboard East Scottish Airways. You'll
                          have had your tea. Our destination is Glasgow. There is no need to panic.
Badger             There's a bomb on board this plane, and I'll tell you where it is for a thousand  
Second Pilot    I don't believe you.
Badger             If you don't tell me where the bomb is... if I don't give you the money... Unless you 
                          give me the bomb...
Stewardess     The money.
Badger             The money, thank you, pretty lady... the bomb will explode killing everybody.
Second Pilot    Including you.
Badger             I'll tell you where it is for a pound.
Second Pilot    Here's a pound.
Badger             I don't want Scottish money. They've got the numbers. It can be traced.
Second Pilot    One English pound. Now where's the bomb?
Badger             I can't remember.
Second Pilot    You've forgotten.
Badger             Aye, you'd better have your pound back. Oh... fingerprints.
First Pilot         Now where's the bomb?
Badger            Ah, wait a tic, wait a tic. Er, my first is in Glasgow but    
                         not in Spain, my second is in steamer but not in train, my whole is in the luggage 
                         compartment on the plane...  I'll tell you where the bomb is for a pound.
Second Pilot   It's in the luggage compartment.
Badger Right. Here's your pound..
Headphones   Is this character giving you any trouble?
First Pilot         He's just ruined this sketch.
Second Pilot   Yes, absolutely.
Headphones   Let's go on to the next one.
Badger            Wait a tic, wait a tic. No. I won't ruin your sketch for a pound.
Second Pilot   No, no.
Badger            75p.

Come fly with me - Penny's Royal Visit

Great British Air stewardess Penny Carter is thrilled that Princess Anne is planning to fly with Great British Air. A member of the Royal Household has been sent to inspect the cabin...
Great British Air stewardess Penny is thrilled that Princess Ann is planning to fly with the airline next week.
I’m not surprised that the Princess has chosen to fly with us. It’s well known that we do provide the finest first class service. For example all of our stewardesses are now trained in massage therapy so, on long route flights we can offer shiatsu, sweedish, deep tissue, all of which end up with a happy ending.

A member of the royal household has been sent to inspect the cabin.

So the flight is next Tuesday ?
Yes it is next Tuesday but I’d rather you did not broadcast it. And that should give you sufficient time to completely repaint and recarpet the cabin.
Yes, yes of course. May I say how honored I am that the Princess is flying with us. I’ve personaly admired her for many many years.
One thing the Princess Royal despises is sycophancy (=adulación). We need to discuss Princess Ann Princess Royal’s dietary requirements. Do you provide a fruit salad ?
Yes we do.
Wonderful. Princess Ann Princess Royal adores fruit salad but she can be a trifle choosy about what sort of fruit she has in it. What does your salad contain ? 
Grapes ?
The Princess Royal does not eat grapes.
Strawberries ? Kiwi ? Orange ? Goava ? Lychee ? Pomegranate ? Passion fruit ? Grapefruit ? Pear ? Gooseberries ? Blackberries ? Melon ? Mango ? Peach ? Pineapple ? Apple ? Plum ? So just apples ?
So I should just give the Princess an apple ?
Yes. Do you provide yoghurt ?
Yes we have the finest organic yoghurts flown in daily from Guernsey.
The Princess detests yoghurt.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

Bedingfield wrote this for her brother on his birthday as a birthday gift because she was short on cash. It's about living life to the fullest, not planning everything because you never know what may happen. Each day is a blank page and it is up to you to fill it. This song conveys the idea of keeping our eyes open for all the possibilities in our life.