Sunday, February 26, 2012

Eddie Izzard - British vs American Movies

Anyway. So, erm... Yes. So, I... We're known in Britain for making the smaller films. Lately we've pulled out of that with Trainspotting but the smaller film, the Room With A View With A Staircase And A Pond type movie. Films with very fine acting but the drama is rather sort of subsued - subsumed? A word like that. Sub-something or another. Just sort of folded in. Everything's people opening doors:
"Oh, I'm... Oh."
"Well, I... Oh."
"What is it, Sebastian? I'm arranging matches."
"Well, I thought you..."I'd better go."
"Yes, I think you better had."

And you can't eat popcorn to that. Whereas if the film did any bit of business in America, some decent bit of business, then Hollywood would remake it and up the budget by 50 million and it would be called The Room With A View Of Hell! Staircase Of Satan... Pond Of Death. And have people open the door:
"You're fucking in here all the time, in here with the fucking matches!
"What are you fucking doing with the fucking matches?"
"Don't talk to me that way! You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? "You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife?"
"I am your wife."
"That don't matter. I say again. You fuck my wife?"
"All right, yes. I fucked your wife. I am your wife and I fucked her."
"Daaah, you're gonna... Fucking matches, I can't get... I'm gonna drive round town and put babies on spikes."
Thboom! Hooha-hooha-hoo. Floom! Zi-zi-zi.
"Oh, no! Space monkeys are attacking."

A whole new part of the film.
"Hoo-hoo-hoo! Whaaah!" Poom! Poom! Poom!
"Damn, it's jammed.”
"Janine? I love you, really. Even though you fucked my wife."
"A fucking handbag.With a brick in it. It's the Queen! Don't know who that is. Yeah."

We play bad guys in Hollywood movies because of the Revolutionary War. The French, who were on your side in the Revolutionary War, they play more esoteric characters. Their characters go,
"I am Pierre. I have come from Paris. I have come to have sex with your family."
"Help yourself. Because of the debt of honor to General Lafayette."

You know your own history, yeah? You don't know who he is, do you? The Spanish-American War? The French Banana War? What? Revolutionary War. Hung out with Washington. Lafayette. Street named after him in New York. We play bad guys. Take The Empire Strikes Back from the Star Wars trilogy. The Death Star, just full of British actors opening doors and going,
"Oh, l'm... Oh."
"What is it, Lieutenant Sebastian?"
"It's just the rebels, sir. They're here."
"My God, man. Do they want tea?"
"I think they're after something more than that, sir. I don't know what it is but they've brought a flag."
"Damn, that's dashed cunning of them.
"Ah, Lord Vader."
(Heavy breathing)
(Deep voice) "Hello."
He was only impressive cos he had that James Earl Jones voice.
"I am Vader. The Force is strong with you."
If he had a much more...
(Camp cockney) "Ello".
"Look, I'm Lord Vader and just pay a-bloody-ttention, all right?
"Luke, the Force is strong with you."
"Is it?"
"Who told you that?"
"Some bloke.
"He said the Force is really rather strong with you."
"How strong?"
"Er, as strong as a small pony."
"That's quite strong, that is."
The film would never have fucking worked, would it? Yeah.

2012 Oscar Nominations: Winners and Losers

Hey guys and thanks for tuning back into Clevver Movies, your number one source for movie news! I'm your host Tatiana Carrier. So today we got the rundown of Oscar nominees...lots of surprises, upsets, and predictable lets see who benefited most from these noms, and who seemed to get the short end of the stick...lets break it down by winners and losers...hate to be harsh, but...let's get started!

The Artist -- the little silent film that could racked up 10 nominees and is just now going wide to theaters. We should see a big jump on the number of screenings and a big jump in ticket sales. I think this film will be the frontrunner.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close -- the Tom Hanks/Sandra Bullock film hit theaters in limited run at the end of the year in order to make the Oscar cut and opened this past weekend to a 4th place finish with $10M. It's been on several Film Critics Awards, but no major award show noms. This was probably the biggest surprise of the day with it getting a Best Picture nod and a nom for Best Supporting Actor for Max Von Sydow. It most likely won't win, but the nominations will help make it a box office winner. We should see a jump this weekend.

The Iron Lady -- Meryl Streep's Oscar nominations should help the box office a bit on this one as it was released January 13th, but it probably won't help that much considering the only other nomination it got was Best Makeup. Had it gotten nominated for best picture, the case could be different.

Moneyball -- tied for the third most nominations (6) with War Horse. Most likely won't win any of them, but it should help give a push to home video sales/rentals.


Hugo -- despite having the most nominations, I don't think it will have much impact on the movie unless they decide to do a rerelease of the film.

The Help -- could help with video sales/rentals, but it's already a big hit so we wont see much movement here.


Bridesmaids -- it grabbed two nominations, but failed to land a Best Picture nod that many people were anticipating.

Drive -- only was able to get nominated for Sound Editing. No Albert Brook Best Supporting Actor nod as suspected and no Best Picture nod.

J. Edgar -- not a single nomination, including one for Leonardo DiCaprio, which we all thought was a sure thing. It couldn't even land a Best Makeup nomination. Yikes!

And I know my HP pans aren't happy...Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 didn't have much to brag about today -- many fans were hoping the final film would get a Best Picture, but it was only able to garner 3 technical awards -- Art Direction, Makeup & Visual Effects.

Ryan Gosling -- had stellar performances in 3 movies (Drive, Crazy Stupid Love and The Ides of March), but got nada. Was he his OWN biggest competition and ended up splitting his vote?

Warrior -- the film has many fans that were hoping it would get a best picture nod ala The Fighter. It only managed a Best Supporting Actor nom for Nick Nolte.

We Need To Talk About Kevin -- this small movie is opening this weekend and they were most likely holding out for a wide release in anticipation of an Oscar nod for at least Tilda Swinton for Best Actress. It got nothing.

Lastly, there were only 2 nominees for best music..."Man or Muppet" from "The Muppets" and "Real in Rio" from "Rio" ...what happened to Mary J Blige for the help or Madonnas W.E.!?!

So what was your biggest upset, shock, or surprise? Let us know by commenting below and while your at it, make sure you sub to our channel so that you stay in the movie know! thanks for hanging out, I will see you next time!