Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Eddie Izzard - Advertising

So anyway, advertising! Yes, that’s what I brought you here to talk about! Yes, advertising… Because I’ve been looking at it, and I’ve realized that certain people in the advertising area are being paid huge wads of cash in brown bags in order to subtly adjust our minds. Because, in the old days, before the ‘50s, I don’t know, it was much more blatant, adverts were more like, “Come on, there it is! (pointing) Come on! Haven’t got all day, there it is!” And as consumers, we were, “Oh, okay, I didn’t realize! Sorry! Don’t hit me!“ (running towards the product)

Nowadays we have choice, don’t we? We’re much more choosy, and we’re much more aware of what we can buy, so adverts are more subtle, they’re the soft sell, much more like… (humming a tune and pointing discreetly at product) “Oh, look at that! Those two people like it, and they’re shagging…” That’s what happens, isn’t it? Shagging sells everything! That’s it, there’s an advert for coffee- You come around, “Cup of coffee?” “Ooh, let’s shag!” Yes! Adverts for chocolate bars, two bits of chocolate bar, one eats one, one eats the other, “Oh, let’s have a shag!” That stuff for cleaning the floor, clean the floor clean, and then you shag on the floor… Dog food, dog eats dog food… anyway… So… not sure what happens there, but…

Now, the washing area- the washing powder, washing clothes, laundry- all that kind of stuff is a very advertising-laid area, with a huge amount of adverts saying, “Wash your clothes! Wash your clothes! Oh, no, I’m gonna shag you…!” And I think if it wasn’t for the advertising, we’d probably just spray our clothes, and (smells it), “Oh, that smells okay now that I’ve sprayed it…”

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