Thursday, November 6, 2008

Truths about parenting

A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.

Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

For adult education, nothing beats children.

God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once.

God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.

Having children will turn you into your parents.

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.

Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

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