Eddie Izzard - Advertising

So anyway, advertising! Yes, that’s what I brought you here to talk about! Yes, advertising… Because I’ve been looking at it, and I’ve realized that certain people in the advertising area are being paid huge wads of cash in brown bags in order to subtly adjust our minds. Because, in the old days, before the ‘50s, I don’t know, it was much more blatant, adverts were more like, “Come on, there it is! (pointing) Come on! Haven’t got all day, there it is!” And as consumers, we were, “Oh, okay, I didn’t realize! Sorry! Don’t hit me!“ (running towards the product)

Nowadays we have choice, don’t we? We’re much more choosy, and we’re much more aware of what we can buy, so adverts are more subtle, they’re the soft sell, much more like… (humming a tune and pointing discreetly at product) “Oh, look at that! Those two people like it, and they’re shagging…” That’s what happens, isn’t it? Shagging sells everything! That’s it, there’s an advert for coffee- You come around, “Cup of coffee?” “Ooh, let’s shag!” Yes! Adverts for chocolate bars, two bits of chocolate bar, one eats one, one eats the other, “Oh, let’s have a shag!” That stuff for cleaning the floor, clean the floor clean, and then you shag on the floor… Dog food, dog eats dog food… anyway… So… not sure what happens there, but…

Now, the washing area- the washing powder, washing clothes, laundry- all that kind of stuff is a very advertising-laid area, with a huge amount of adverts saying, “Wash your clothes! Wash your clothes! Oh, no, I’m gonna shag you…!” And I think if it wasn’t for the advertising, we’d probably just spray our clothes, and (smells it), “Oh, that smells okay now that I’ve sprayed it…”

Hugh Jackman dancing in Uruguay

This Lipton Ice Tea TV advert, 'Join the Dance', starring Hugh Jackman, was shot in Uruguay. Enjoy!

Lyrics | Men Without Hats lyrics - The Safety Dance lyrics

Logorama

Logorama is a Oscar-winning animated film written and directed by H5/ François Alaux, Hervé de Crécy and Ludovic Houplain, and produced by Autour de Minuit. The film depicts events in a stylized Los Angeles, and is told entirely through the use of more than 2500 contemporary and historical logos and mascots.

George Clooney and John Malkovich in heaven

England but...

In England we have lousy weather but the girls are always half naked. We live on an island, but you get there by train. We have a Queen, but her husband is only a prince. We built the EC, but in the end we kept the pound. We have dominated the world, but also we liked to be dominated. We invented football, but our national team is run by an Italian. We have the most ridiculous police uniforms, but somehow it seems to work. We love a well-tailored suit, but we also love a well-tailored dress. We don’t know how to cook, but we make good biscuits.

This hour has 22 minutes - Sex and advertising

(RED) The Lazarus Effect Campaign 40 cents = 2 lifesaving pills

The Lazarus Effect Campaign equates the relative value of 40 cents by comparing trivial items worth 40 cents e.g. a stick of gum, a smear of lipstick — to the value of one day's worth of life transforming antiretroviral medication.

The campaign, directed by renowned photographer Brigitte Lacombe, features Bono, Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Julianne Moore, Naomi Watts, Claire Danes, Alek Wek, Iman, John Turturro, Toni Collette, Hugh Jackman, Orlando Bloom, Lucy Liu, Gabourey Sidibe, Kerry Washington, Bryan Cranston, LeAnn Rimes, Jane Lynch, Michelle Rodriguez, Gwen Stefani, Hayden Christensen, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Don Cheadle, Ludacris, Common, Benicio Del Toro, Dakota Fanning, Christy Turlington and the Jonas Brothers.

For 40 cents I got an egg.
I got gum.
I got a hair net.
A kazoo.
A candy necklace.
An orange.
A band aid.
For 40 cents I got one of these.
I got a really great hat.
I got half a song.
Extra mayonnaise.
A stamp.
Helium.
Some bling.
Some fries.
A balloon dog.
Fabric softener.
This much of a Shirley Temple.
I got a moustache.
An apple.
Sprinkles.
15 minutes of parking and a ticket.
Lipstick.

2 pills a day is what it takes to stay alive if you're HIV positive. These pills cost about 40 cents a day.
Lunch bag.

NOTES

The kazoo is a wind instrument which adds a "buzzing" timbral quality to a player's voice when one vocalizes into it.

Bling (also bling-bling) is a slang term popularized in hip hop culture, referring to flashy or elaborate jewellery and ornamented accessories that are carried, worn or installed, such as cell phones or tooth caps. Often associated with rappers.

A Shirley Temple (also known as a Grenadine Lemonade) is a non-alcoholic mixed drink made with Sprite or 7 Up and mixed with grenadine syrup garnished with maraschino cherries and a slice of orange. Orange juice is often added, especially in Canada. It is often served to children dining with adults to let them share the experience of drinking a cocktail, which is why it is sometimes called a kiddie cocktail.

WORD OF THE MONTH APRIL 2010: GREENWASH

Greenwashing is a marketing technique in which a company falsely claims environmental responsibility. As more and more consumers are concerned about sustainability and the environment, a growing number of corporations have stepped up, claiming to be improving their environmental practices and reforming their industries. While this may certainly be true in some cases, many of the claims of environmental stewardship made by companies are actually false, or at the very least extremely misleading.

The term is a portmanteau of “whitewashing,” in the sense of covering up misdeeds, and “green,” a common term used to refer to environmentally sound practices. The green movement encompasses food sources, building, energy, and everything in between, and it also represents a substantial source of potential income. A growing number of citizens, especially in the First World, are willing to pay a premium for “green” products. In addition to environmentally sensitive companies who are genuinely trying to practice business ethically, a number of corporations launch extensive greenwashing campaigns detailing all the ways in which they are environmentally responsible. For unwary consumers, the glossy greenwashing ads can suggest that the company is reputable and responsible.

LYRICS
The environment is dying, we need a solution fast.
If we don't find a big old plan, this simply will not last.
We don't wanna freak anybody out,
We don't wanna make a scene.
We'd rather sweep it under the mat,
But instead, we'll paint it green.
Green, green, green, we'll paint it green.

It doesn't really matter what it is,
What it does or why it stinks
Or what it means as long as it is green.

It doesn't really matter what it burns,
Or what it makes or what it kills
Or what it's for, as long as it is green.
Green, green, green, green, let's make it green.

Politicians feed us crap, celebrities are the same.
It's mostly about how green they are and who deserves the blame.

How green you are is not how much you give,
Or how loud you are, it's how you live.
So know your greens and think a bit.
Because you don't have to be green to be green

Croc-wise in Croc country!

Terri and Bindi Irwin TV Commercial on how to be Croc Wise

North Queensland is croc country.
And... crickey! crocodiles are living dinosaurs.
And a crucial part of our ecosystem.
So in croc country be croc-wise.
Treat all water as croc territory.
Never swim where crocodiles live.
Camp well back from the water.
Keep rubbish secure.
And never clean fish at boat ramps.
In croc country be croc-wise.
It could save their lives and yours.
Crocs rule!

NOTES:
Crickey! = Slang an expression of surprise [euphemistic for Christ!] and a beloved word used by Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.
Crocs rule! = Steve Irwin would often say "Crocs Rule!" at the end of his shows.

Fernando Torres: his pronunciation and his popularity in the UK

New Zealand and Australia: Everybody needs good neighbours

The Australian ABC-TV programme The Gruen Transfer challenged two Sydney advertising agencies to come up with a mock TV ad to promote an invasion of New Zealand. They came up with two very different and funny ads, which, since airing has been a massive hit online and generated media interest in New Zealand.

And this is New Zealand's revenge:

Where the bloody hell are you?
The official Tourism Australia ad was released in early 2006 with the intention of increasing Australia's appeal as an overseas tourism destination in the international tourism market. The ad not only caused controversy at home in Australia, but also stirred a large amount of controversy in overseas territories, with Great Britain banning the original version of the ad after pressure from family groups. A compromise was reached and the ad was eventually broadcast with "bloody" being removed from the ad and a sanitised version being shown to the British market. However, the publicity that the ensuing controversy caused drew even greater attention to the campaign.

We've poured you a beer
and we've had the camels shampooed.
We saved you a spot on the beach
and we've got the sharks out of the pool.
We got the roos off the green
and Bill's on his way down to open the front gate.
Your taxi 's waiting
and dinner's about to be served.
We've turned on the lights.
And we've been rehearsing for over 40,000 years.
So where the bloody hell are you?


And this is New Zealand's parody of the previous ad:

Got you a nice house in Auckland.
We've fired up the P labs. (=clandestine drug labs)
And we've pulled the boy racers off the footpath.
We're putting on the haka every couple of minutes.
We've got most of the urine out of the pool.
And Winston's on his way down to open the front gate
They call me xenophobic...
So, where the bloody hell are ya?

This is the hysterical story of how New Zealand was created after an earthquake and The Bit That Broke Off became Australia and how New Zealanders went to The Bit That Broke Off to seek fortune and fame and how New Zealand wants now to claim their Kiwis back from all over the world and hook them all up.

Word of the week 13 - 19 April 2009 COLD CALLING

Cold calling (also known as telemarketing) is the process of approaching prospective customers or clients, typically via telephone, who were not expecting such an interaction. The word "cold" is used because the person receiving the call is not expecting a call or has not specifically asked to be contacted by a sales person.

This hour has 22 minutes - Sleep Til You're Skinny