For Miranda, the only thing worse than being Charlotte's 34-year-old bridesmaid was being a 34-year-old bridesmaid without a date. With the wedding less than a week away, Miranda fell prey to the siren song of a New York singles event: Multi-dating.
$20 bought you seven mini-dates, each eight minutes long which incidentally is about as long as blind dates should be.
- Hi. I'm Miranda Hobbes.
- Dwight Owens. Private wealth group at Morgan Stanley Investment Management for high net-worth individuals and pension plans. Like my job, been there five years, divorced, no kids, not religious. I live in New Jersey, speak French and Portuguese. ........... Business School. Any of this appealing?
- Sure. Portuguese, that's impressive.
- Obrigado. What about you, Mandy?
- Miranda.
- I'm a lawyer at a mid-sized firm. Actually, I was recently made partner.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! In the early years of the 16th century, to combat the rising tide of religious unorthodoxy, the Pope gave Cardinal Ximinez of Spain leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land, in a reign of violence, terror and torture that makes a smashing film. This was the Spanish Inquisition...
Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess? Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of. Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
Biggles: Here they are, lord. Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance. Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about. Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess! Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord. Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end? Biggles: Yes, lord. XiminezHm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
Fang: The...Comfy Chair?
Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
Ximinez: Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. Is that really all it is? Biggles: Yes, lord. Ximinez: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess Biggles: I confess! Ximinez: Not you!
What would you get if you took a blog, an instant messenger, and a social network and mixed them all together in a blender? Probably something like Twitter. A mini-blogging service that lets you update your friends on what you are doing at that moment. Twitter allows blog posts of only 140 characters, which is just large enough for a sentence, or two if they are short. These messages, called tweets, are then sent out -- via web or mobile phone -- where your friends can find them.
The Lazarus Effect Campaign equates the relative value of 40 cents by comparing trivial items worth 40 cents e.g. a stick of gum, a smear of lipstick — to the value of one day's worth of life transforming antiretroviral medication.
The campaign, directed by renowned photographer Brigitte Lacombe, features Bono, Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Julianne Moore, Naomi Watts, Claire Danes, Alek Wek, Iman, John Turturro, Toni Collette, Hugh Jackman, Orlando Bloom, Lucy Liu, Gabourey Sidibe, Kerry Washington, Bryan Cranston, LeAnn Rimes, Jane Lynch, Michelle Rodriguez, Gwen Stefani, Hayden Christensen, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Don Cheadle, Ludacris, Common, Benicio Del Toro, Dakota Fanning, Christy Turlington and the Jonas Brothers.
For 40 cents I got an egg. I got gum. I got a hair net. A kazoo. A candy necklace. An orange. A band aid. For 40 cents I got one of these. I got a really great hat. I got half a song. Extra mayonnaise. A stamp. Helium. Some bling. Some fries. A balloon dog. Fabric softener. This much of a Shirley Temple. I got a moustache. An apple. Sprinkles. 15 minutes of parking and a ticket. Lipstick.
2 pills a day is what it takes to stay alive if you're HIV positive. These pills cost about 40 cents a day. Lunch bag.
NOTES
The kazoo is a wind instrument which adds a "buzzing" timbral quality to a player's voice when one vocalizes into it.
Bling (also bling-bling) is a slang term popularized in hip hop culture, referring to flashy or elaborate jewellery and ornamented accessories that are carried, worn or installed, such as cell phones or tooth caps. Often associated with rappers.
A Shirley Temple (also known as a Grenadine Lemonade) is a non-alcoholic mixed drink made with Sprite or 7 Up and mixed with grenadine syrup garnished with maraschino cherries and a slice of orange. Orange juice is often added, especially in Canada. It is often served to children dining with adults to let them share the experience of drinking a cocktail, which is why it is sometimes called a kiddie cocktail.
Greenwashing is a marketing technique in which a company falsely claims environmental responsibility. As more and more consumers are concerned about sustainability and the environment, a growing number of corporations have stepped up, claiming to be improving their environmental practices and reforming their industries. While this may certainly be true in some cases, many of the claims of environmental stewardship made by companies are actually false, or at the very least extremely misleading.
The term is a portmanteau of “whitewashing,” in the sense of covering up misdeeds, and “green,” a common term used to refer to environmentally sound practices. The green movement encompasses food sources, building, energy, and everything in between, and it also represents a substantial source of potential income. A growing number of citizens, especially in the First World, are willing to pay a premium for “green” products. In addition to environmentally sensitive companies who are genuinely trying to practice business ethically, a number of corporations launch extensive greenwashing campaigns detailing all the ways in which they are environmentally responsible. For unwary consumers, the glossy greenwashing ads can suggest that the company is reputable and responsible.
LYRICS The environment is dying, we need a solution fast. If we don't find a big old plan, this simply will not last. We don't wanna freak anybody out, We don't wanna make a scene. We'd rather sweep it under the mat, But instead, we'll paint it green. Green, green, green, we'll paint it green.
It doesn't really matter what it is, What it does or why it stinks Or what it means as long as it is green.
It doesn't really matter what it burns, Or what it makes or what it kills Or what it's for, as long as it is green. Green, green, green, green, let's make it green.
Politicians feed us crap, celebrities are the same. It's mostly about how green they are and who deserves the blame.
How green you are is not how much you give, Or how loud you are, it's how you live. So know your greens and think a bit. Because you don't have to be green to be green
Stephen Fry is a writer, comedian, actor and technology enthusiast - and a man very much online. Aleks Krotoski and the Digital Revolution team met and interviewed Stephen to discuss the web, the changes it has brought to the world, its benefits and its possible dangers.
Auckland City Mission, New Zealand, launched the 2005 Christmas Appeal with “Pavement”, a poignant TV ad featuring a young homeless Aucklander imagining his perfect Christmas day with the help of a piece of chalk.
The young man (Rangi Ngamoki, star of Two Cars, One Night) opens his eyes to the sounds of street traffic. “It’s time to get up for me”. His bed, pillow and sound system are all drawn in chalk. The boy gets dressed as he lies on the pavement, with bed, dresser and Christmas stocking drawn in chalk. “Christmas Day. I can’t wait to see what’s under the tree. Better wash my face and clean my teeth first. And we look in my wardrobe and find my favourite shirt.” We see that he has only one shirt. “Shh. Go quietly downstairs to the livingroom. Check out my presents.” The boy ’sneaks’ down stairs drawn in chalk. We see that the Christmas tree and all the presents are drawn in chalk. “Everyone else will be awake soon. They’re all mine! This one’s from Dad. Haven’t seen him in a long time. Playing my XBox.” Once again - it’s an imagined luxury. “Mmm I can smell the turkey. I wish it was Christmas every day.”
The voiceover is provided by Sam Neill: “One in five children are living in poverty. We’re on a mission to make Christmas happen - for every Auckland child.”
