Showing posts with label crime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crime. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Eddie Izzard - Crimes
Also, I got done for jumping a 20p tube fare! This is my whole crime sheet, right? Which is quite an interesting read… 20p! This is not Don Corleone, this is Don Crap.
I jumped a 20p underground tube fare, and I was waving a pass at the time, you know, it was drawn
on a Rizzler or something; it was a Bishop of Durham pass. “I’m the Bishop of Durham… And the guy said, “Bless you my son, bless you my son” “You’re not Bishop of Durham! He wears a bigger hat than that!”
So he got me. “I got him! I got the 20p kid! You’ve caused us £1.60 worth of trouble, you have, in your time. I’ve got him and I’ll be promoted in the underground system. I’ll get my own darkness!”
Then an off-duty policeman came, and he had a pot plant and a camera, on his way home for a good night photographing pot plants, I suppose… This is all bizarre, but true; this is what he had, and he said, “I’ve got him too! Oh, I’ll get promoted… King of Metropolitan Police!”
And I thought, “I’m going down for 20p! No, I’m gonna run for it! I’ll run for it like Mel Gibson in the film “Gallipoli,” and… other people in running films.
So I run, and I run, and I run, and I run, and after five inches, they caught me…
They called for backup, and now 20 policemen are coming down, thousands of pounds worth of police work – “We’ve got the 20p kid! 20ps are safe from now on…”
And three policemen pulled me for five minutes! I don’t know if you’ve ever had this, they grab one leg each, and I don’t know – obviously, they were working together; they thought I was struggling like crazy, I’d given up at this point. one over here was going, “Don’t struggle, there! Don’t struggle!” People over here going, “Eh! Don’t you fuckin’ struggle!”So it was a continuous machine of them pulling against each other, had one hand free, I was going, “Hi! How are you? I’ll talk about this in many years…”
And then they put me in Bower Street overnight, and that became assaulting a police officer! Surely it was stretching a pedestrian! It was! I got down for assault, and I was running away! Assault is motion towards, I feel…it takes an accusative. Very rarely in war, they go, “Assault that hill over there!” “Let me do a bit of stretching here…” I should have been done for deserting a police officer.
There’s a shop in South London which was a very… it’s still there, apparently. It’s in Tooting High Street, and it sells two very disparate items. On one side of the shop – they put them on different sides, it’s great! One side is guns, and knives, and harpoons and fucking- really mean fucking weapons. On the other side, there’s banjos, and violins, and bassoons, And you know about it, don’t
you? Yeah! It’s fucking there! And what’s the guy doing? “Oh, we’re way down in weaponry,
but up on banjos this week… That’s good, people are getting lighter these days, in tough times. They shift to music like crazy at the moment! Way down on bassoons!”
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Women's Aid - Domestic Violence
Keira Knightley stars in this shocking new short film, directed by Joe Wright and brought to you by Women's Aid - the UK's domestic abuse charity.
A video for children - to show what domestic abuse is and to help them identify whether it's happening in their family home.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Always blow on the pie: Safer Communities Together
'Always blow on the pie': A traffic policeman's bizarre advice to a car thief which has become an internet hit
Saturday, May 23, 2009
New Zealand hunts accidental millionaires
WELLINGTON (AFP) - New Zealand police said Thursday they had launched an international hunt for a couple who fled after reportedly having millions of dollars mistakenly paid into their bank account.
Reports said an Asian couple who ran a petrol station in the northern city of Rotorua had fled overseas after Westpac bank mistakenly deposited 10 million dollars (six million US) in their account.
Police and the bank refused to say how much money was withdrawn or give any details of the couple, but the bank said it was "pursuing vigorous criminal and civil action."
Rotorua police Detective Senior Sergeant David Harvey said the bank had recovered some of the money.
"The individuals associated with this account are believed to have left New Zealand and police were working through Interpol to locate those individuals," he said.
A Westpac spokesman said human error was responsible for the windfall.
Reports said an Asian couple who ran a petrol station in the northern city of Rotorua had fled overseas after Westpac bank mistakenly deposited 10 million dollars (six million US) in their account.
Police and the bank refused to say how much money was withdrawn or give any details of the couple, but the bank said it was "pursuing vigorous criminal and civil action."
Rotorua police Detective Senior Sergeant David Harvey said the bank had recovered some of the money.
"The individuals associated with this account are believed to have left New Zealand and police were working through Interpol to locate those individuals," he said.
A Westpac spokesman said human error was responsible for the windfall.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Word of the week 16 - 22 February 2009 YOB
A yob (or yobbo) is an aggressive, impolite young man (or teenager) who engages in antisocial behaviour and/or drunkenness.
The word is believed to have derived from spelling "boy" backwards (maybe because a yob is the antithesis of a good boy).
It is usually used as an insult, so calling someone a yob or a yobbo can be dangerous.
Examples:
Be careful if you go to a pub on Friday or Saturday night. The yobs will be out and lots of them will be looking for a fight.
You can read and find out more about yob culture here in the first part of a BBC series of features focusing on different aspects of crime.
Just for fun:
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Word of the week 19 - 25 January 2009 PHISHING
The criminal activity of persuading people to give personal information such as account numbers, passwords and credit card details by directing them to a fake website which has been made to look exactly the same as the website of a legitimate bank or other organisation.
Typically, emails are used as "bait" (= cebo) in order to get the potential victim to visit the fake website. The emails use various stratagems to trick readers into clicking on the included links, thereby opening the bogus website. Information submitted on these bogus websites may then be used to steal funds from the user's accounts and/or steal the victim's identity.
The term phishing has been around in computer hacker culture since the mid-nineties, where it originally referred more generally to the practice of acquiring password information in order to infringe security barriers. Its use specifically in the context of internet-based financial crimes is more recent. The word is derived from a deliberate misspelling of fish in its verbal sense of trying to obtain information.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Creative justice
- Woman Ordered To Spend Night In Woods ARTICLE AND VIDEO
- Judge Cicconetti talks about why he sentenced a woman to stay in the woods VIDEO
http://www.newsnet5.com/video/5391350/index.html
- Man Sentenced To Spend Christmas With Vets ARTICLE AND VIDEO
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/5590332/detail.html
- Woman Apologizes With Pennies At Church ARTICLE AND PHOTOS
- Man Sentenced To Stand On Corner With Pig ARTICLE
http://www.newsnet5.com/sh/news/stories/archive/nat-news-archive-151790420020618-110620.html
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