Ghost busters theme song and the Ghost
of Christmas Present (David Tennant) appears.
Ghost:Makes me laugh every time! Hello?
Ghost of Christmas Present.
Nan: That's all I need, a Scotch ghost
with a comedy ringtone.
Ghost: Oh hiya. No I'm just in the
middle of a wee job, can I call you back? OK, lets get started! Now
have you got any of those porcini mushrooms? Cause I see you have a
wee tin of the button variety but they've not got the same zip.
Nan: Give me strength!
Ghost: I've got a wee risotto on the
go, I don't think we should travel on an empty stomach. So? Porcini
mushrooms?
Nan: Yes love, they'll be in my fridge,
next to my Chinese water spinach.
Ghost: Fantastic, I don't see any Chinese water spinach?
Nan: No darling? Oh, you know what
they've probably fallen down by my Goji berries.
Ghost: No, I can't seem to find anything.
Nan: No? I can't help you then love.
Ghost: Are you sure they are in there?
Nan: Of course, they're not! What's the
matter with you What do you think this is? Saturday Kitchen?
Ghost: Oh, I love that show, James
Martin, don't get me started!
Nan: Well, it's just as well he can
cook, cause he dances like he's shit himself.
Ghost: I'm sorry but his cha-cha-cha
was a triumph!
Nan: What do you know about it? You're
a ghost, and not much of one by the looks of you.
Ghost: What's wrong with the way I
look? This is Giorgio Armani!
Nan: I don't care if it's George at
Asda! That aint what a ghost's supposed to wear!
Ghost: I'm the ghost of Christmas
present, I'm up to the minute! Constantly changing. Ever evolving, yet
always on trend! Unstructured, yet tailored, clean lines, sharp
sillouette but with a whiff of the shambolic rockstar! Do not
criticise the clobber!
Nan: You couldn't be bothered, could
you? Nah, that other fella I had here before, oh smashing he was! Yeah
he looked the part! Was all done up in his costume, lovely pale face
and what a stench! He stank like a rancid old arse! Whereas you,,, you
smell like? God what is that?
Ghost: That's Paul Smith Summer!
Nan: You're very effeminate for a
ghost!
Ghost: Hey, Don't play your games with
me Joany Taylor! Alright! You think your snide wee remarks are going
to get a rise out of me you've another thing coming! It's wake up
time, OK? Because the things I'm going to show you tonight will leave
you horrified by what you've become! And just for the record, there
is nothing effeminate about me! OK?
*TIMER PINGS*
Ohh RISOTTO RISOTTO RISOTTO!!! I've
burnt it!
Nan: Yeah, well, risottos are notoriously
difficult to time.
Ghost: Joany!
Nan: Yeah alright, keep your skinny
jeans on! This ain't my kitchen!
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